Kinship Foster Parent

Oakley, CA (Bay Area)

Myra Murillo was only 11 years old when her mother died. The young girl was sent to live in a convent outside of Oregon. At age 17, she thought she was ready to take the vow and become a nun. Myra recalls:

"Reverend Mother told me I had to experience the real world first before taking such a big step. She sent me to San Francisco to visit with my grandmother. She was so wise. Somehow, I think she sensed there was another plan for me."

Myra soon met and married her husband, and together they had three children. Sadly, her husband died prematurely leaving her to raise the young children by herself.  As a young mother, Myra began to observe and emulate the women she admired. She says:

"I had little idea of how to be a parent. I watched how the mothers of my friends acted. I even tried to copy the style of those perfect moms on TV. It gave me a blueprint to follow. From there, I created my own identity and gained the confidence I needed to be a good parent."

Tragedy would strike the family yet again when one of her sons, Ralphy, was killed in a car accident at age 17.  Later, she became a grandmother, but unfortunately, her son and his wife battled addiction and the kids were placed in foster care. Myra began the journey to become a foster parent so that she could take care of her two grandkids and her son’s two stepchildren.

Over 2 million American children live with grandparents or other relatives because their parents cannot care for them. When relatives provide foster care (known as kinship care), siblings can often stay together. Kinship care improves stability by keeping children closer to their extended families, their neighborhoods, and their schools. Relative caregivers also help children maintain a sense of cultural and personal identity.

Myra completed the required training, and with the support of Casey Family Programs, she received custody of the children, became a better parent, and learned how to advocate for whatever services and support they needed. At first, she thought it would be a temporary situation until her son and daughter-in-law could get back on their feet, but that was nearly 18 years ago.

"We are a close family. My daughter is raising her two girls and my son is in recovery and thankfully coming back into our lives. When you nurture children, you nurture yourself. It keeps you humble and compassionate. And now, I’m a great-grandmother. I look back and can’t believe how time has flown."

A Mexican-American, Myra and group of friends established the first bilingual kindergarten in her community in the late 1970s. Three years ago, at age 59, her deep faith inspired her to return to school to study Theology. In February 2008, she graduated from Pastoral Ministry School at Holy Names University in Oakland. Currently, she is the Director of Formation at her church.